What I Want And Need
by TheMollyBee
Summary: "You can't always get what you want, but sometimes, you get what you need" Season 7 rewrite. House/Cuddy pairing. How my head thinks it should have gone.
1. Chapter 1

**This takes place at the beginning of season 7, right at the beginning so none of it happened, except for everything leading up to House asking "What now?".**

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><p>"So... What now?" Lisa Cuddy asked, her head shifting off her boyfriend's shoulder to look at him.<p>

"Define now. Do you mean now as in, getting up to empty my bladder before ravishing you again, or now as in the rest of our lives, with our two kids and a robotic dog?" Greg House met her grey-blues with his...really blues?

"I meant somewhere in the middle of those two. But am I meant to be more concerned about the extra child or the robotic dog?" Cuddy asked, dramatically faking concern.

"I'd be more concerned about the extra child. With DNA like that, our kid would wreck lives. Can we get started making one after I go pee?" House replied, his eyes wide. His speech was faster with the sarcasm he placed on his words, but he smiled as he spoke about "our kid".

"We're getting really off topic here. And since when did you want children?" Cuddy asked, catching House's wistful smile, shocked.

He rolled over a little to face her better, and spoke softly but seriously.

"Not children, child. Yours and mine. Think about it."

"Children, House. What about Rachel?"

The 'normal' House returned, "I don't need to want her, judging by her mother being in my bed, I'd say she's already partly mine." He finished with a lecherous wink.

"This soft side of you is weird." Cuddy spoke, confused by this blissfully happy version of House. Not that she wasn't loving it.

"Hey, hey! Nothing about me is soft!" he growled, moving over her.

"Are you sure?" she replied quickly, returning his earlier wink.

"Evil woman."

"You love me really." She replied, moving up to nibble his earlobe.

"Do I? Yes, yes I do, jeez." She smirked as he moaned a little as her teeth grazed down the side of his neck. "You got that right. Now, are we telling people about us, or are our bed sharing antics staying secret?"

"I think showing them would be much more fun." He replied, running a hand down her arm and flipping them over.

"Somehow I don't think that would be considered appropriate... Stop pouting." She laughed at the childish expression on his face, and the sound echoed around his bedroom.

"What about if I just forget to respect your ass' boundaries in public, or forget to lock the door to the store cupboard when we are getting up to some Chameron-esque antics?" he suggested, his hands resting on the afore mentioned part of her body.

"Your sexual harassment is a lot easier to tolerate when we're both naked."

"See, that's what I've been telling you all these years! Maybe you should listen next time, instead of staring at my manhood."

"Shut up and go pee. I'll go search your cupboards for something edible."

"And then we can go ahead with round 39?"

She didn't reply, just pulled one of his reasonably clean shirts from off the floor and left the room, a shout of "That shirt has ruined my life!" following after her.

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><p><strong>I had the urge to 'fix' House. This is the way everything goes in my mind. <strong>

**I know House is kind of un-House-ish, but I feel he could have been like this. He seemed pretty similar when he was with Stacy and stuff.**

**I dunno. This works as a one-shot, I guess, but if it goes down well, I'll definitely carry it on.**


	2. Chapter 2

House woke up in a bed that smelt like sex and Cuddy's perfume. Inhaling, he grinned and manoeuvred himself out of bed and limped to the kitchen where he could hear her pattering around.

They'd spent the last two days at his, living off of popcorn and peanut butter, and occasionally both.

He stood behind her and enveloped her waist in a hug, murmuring "Morning" into her neck.

"I think you'll find that it's afternoon now. We should probably go in to work today."

"But Mom!" House protested.

"You can either stay here by yourself, or come and stay with me for the next few hours."

"Give me five."

"I'll go, meet you there?"

"Alright then, that smirk is far too evil for me to question." He ducked and hid, sticking his head up with an elaborately scared expression on his face.

"See you soon then, scaredy cat." She bit his neck before turning and leaving swiftly.

"Ow" House spoke aloud, rubbing the purpling area and limping off to have a shower.

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><p>About an hour later, House was strolling along to meet his team, whistling happily.<p>

"Good morning ducklings!" he said chirpily, while throwing files from their new case at their heads.

"House, this is one of Wilson's patients. I'd say you can't go stealing patients, but you're you, so why did you? No unusual symptoms, chemo seems to be working fine, why?" Chase asked, flummoxed by House's reasoning for this case. He leaned forward, preparing himself somewhat for a pearl of wisdom from House's lips, demonstrating exactly why the seemingly healthy patient was secretly dying in an unusual and interesting way.

"Just for some fun." Chase leant back, disappointed.

"MC Hammer, I want you to count to ten." House settled himself into his chair as he finished his command.

"But why-"

"House!" Wilson yelled, storming in, brandishing a post-it which he began to read "Stolen one of your patients. Undecided on the ransom yet. Bring lunch."

"Lunch isn't part of the ransom, I'm just hungry." House stated, taking the paper bag that Wilson held outstretched, while Wilson was not sure why he'd actually brought him lunch.

"Have your patient back, she was boring." Chase handed over the files, still confused.

"Foreman, what number are you on now?" House yelled obnoxiously loud, despite Foreman being at the other end of the table.

"Two hundred and something?" Foreman sighed.

"You're not very good at this "counting" stuff are you? It's presumably easier than breaking locks, you should try it sometime."

Wilson decided to sit himself down and wait for whatever House was concocting to explode. House rested his chin on the top of his cane. Chase stood up and made more coffee.

"Where's Taub?" House suddenly asked, noticing that the short one was missing. The replies were shrugs.

After a few minutes, Wilson stood up, deciding to waste his time in his own office.

"Oh good, Wilson finally got my telepathic messages."

"Um, yes? The ones concerning...?"

"Going to break something important and coming back with lunch."

"You just had lunch."

"I've been exercising and living off minimal food for two days, humour me." House said, putting his hand over his heart and pretending to be deeply hurt.

"What are we actually waiting for? And no, I'm not breaking anything."

"I don't know yet."

With the stubborn way House was waiting, Wilson glanced at his watch, sighed, and sat down to join the wait. The team sipped their coffees and watched the door, expecting an alien life form or talking dog to stroll through any moment.

"Welcome back, my third favourite Jew. Now before you fight Wilson for second place, where have you been?"

Wilson raised an eyebrow, as if to say "I'm only second?". Taub smiled inwardly at what he assumed to be some kind of Housian compliment.

"I was helping Cuddy out in the clinic. She said you should be down there."

He didn't know if House heard the end of his sentence, because he had already bolted off as fast as his cane could carry him.

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><p><strong>This is the best recieved story I've ever done. Thank you guys so much. Hope you like this, and see you in a few days.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

"I thought sleeping with the boss would get me off clinic duty."

Cuddy spun round at the sound of House's voice. Clocking the sight of his fellows behind him, she decided to pretend he was joking.

"You could be dead and I'd still make your corpse diagnose the sniffles. Now quit your sexual harassment or I'll double your hours."

"Damn. It appears nice Cuddy was a hallucination again." He sighed dramatically and picked up a file before striding in to exam room 1.

"You're here because you feel tired?" He asked the patient in there patronisingly. "How much sleep do you get a night? Wait, no, don't answer. Judging by the bags under your eyes, I'd say most definitely not enough." He wrote a prescription for mild sleeping pills and left the room, leaving a bewildered patient in his wake.

"That's me done for the day, boss!" He yelled as he walked back to his office before stopping abruptly.

Backtracking, he mentally slapped himself for not noticing.

"Love the shirt, doctor Cuddy! I always knew you were a man secretly!" he yelled at the same volume as before, across the clinic. She buried her face in her hands as a reply, swearing revenge.

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><p>"I am in love." House was sitting at Wilson's desk, his feet on it and his cane propped under his chin. "Seriously."<p>

"Of course you are. Just like when you paid for lunch last week and the credit card wasn't mine, and your name is definitely James Wilson too."

House pouted, feigning innocence, before repeating himself. "I am in love, for real, no joke."

"Who's the... lucky gal?" Wilson asked.

"Not a gal. Nor of the female persuasion either. Did you know clowns have their own gender?"

Wilson raised his eyebrow, and sent House a look that registered a four on the Wilson's-encouraging-or-pitying-looks factor.

"Ok, it's a woman, but I can't say." House stood up and tried to leave, but Wilson followed him.

"That means it's someone we both know-"

"Déjà vu."

"Shut up. It's also probably someone we both know." He stopped, tilting his head sideways while House limped ahead.

"It's not every day you see that." He muttered, then returned to the safety of his office.

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><p><strong>Hi. I was trying to update this every other day, but sleep called. I will update again in the next three days though. Hope you like it?<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

Cuddy locked the door to her office and pulled off her shirt, sighing. She had decided to wear it as a sort of secret sign between her and House, but it did look really odd. And it didn't smell too great either, as she'd just plucked it off his bedroom floor. Considering it was her boyfriend's, and he was much larger than her, it did look unprofessional, and she had a meeting in ten minutes. Which reminded her, she really should get maintenance to take down that sign.

Wilson was in his office, trying to block of the images that kept popping in to his head. He figured at least it was good he now knew that House's love interest worked in the hospital, but not that he knew the exact shade of House's happy trail.

What kind of person got big signs of their sleeping, naked boyfriend made and put them round the work place?

He just prayed he could figure it out before the signs got more graphic.

House was in the morgue, chatting to the guy on the slab.

"She was wearing my shirt at work. She does that at mine, but god, that's so hot. And sneaky. Reckon she wants me to rescue her from paperwork and meetings for a little while? You see, this is why you are so much better to talk to than Wilson, you never stop me having fun."

Concluding that the smile on his face was making him a little bit crazier than normal, he brushed it off and skipped off as much as he could with a limp.

And that was when he strolled towards the clinic and noticed the blown up image of himself over the entrance and realised exactly what she was doing.

He'd suggested that they show people, and she was doing just that. Although not in the way he intended.

He spun round, heading to his office to plot revenge. It was going to be perfect.

He just didn't know she was already one step ahead of him.

Chase was confused. House was acting in a way that was strange, even for House, and Chase had to know why, and he couldn't understand why Taub and Foreman didn't seem anywhere near as interested. But he knew who would be.

And that's how the wallaby found himself in the oncologist's office, exchanging ideas and drawing up plans to expose House's secret.

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><p><strong>Sorry this is a little late. Hope you like it. Chapters are going to start getting longer, I promise.<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Second update in a day, you might need to go back and read the other one first.**

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><p>Getting revenge on Cuddy was quite a difficult thing. On the one hand, she didn't get embarrassed that easily so he'd have to do something huge. On the other hand, anything too huge would make her withhold sex or something potentially even worse.<p>

The woman had secrets, but nothing worth exposing.

And putting up naked signs of her would be sexual harassment, and not worth all the guys he'd have to get revenge on for looking at her.

No, the only way he could get revenge on her would be by going along with her plans.

And boy, did she know that.

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><p>"It has to be someone with authority in the hospital, how else would they get the sign up without help?"<p>

Wilson nodded agreement and added that to the list they'd written on House's board.

"And it has to be someone he talks to quite a lot; else he'd be hiding it less."

Chase frowned and rubbed his temples. "I can't help but feel it's blindingly obvious. Who are we missing?"

Wilson flipped the board and read through the list of names they'd compiled, trying to think of anyone they'd forgotten.

"We must have crossed them off already. It can't be any of the nursing staff."

"And he doesn't really like blondes." Wilson added, crossing everyone off matching either of those descriptions.

"This is like a real life version of Guess Who."

Wilson laughed "And it can't be Cuddy, she still has Lucas, I believe."

"I wish they'd get together though. They'd be kind of cute, in a weird, self destructive way. I reckon it would work."

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><p>House was not a man for public displays of affection, other than groping and flirting wildly, of course. "I love you"s and hugs and kisses, they were saved for death beds, other beds, floors, sofas, other places where one might have private moments.<p>

And he knew that Cuddy's next step would undoubtedly to make him be public in a way that meant he wasn't.

Removing the bug from behind his speaker, he smirked and tried to think where his plan would work best.

Did she really expect him to sing about his feelings? He supposed he had to now, and began to drag his equipment towards the roof.

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><p>Cuddy glanced at the clock, then back at her papers as she continued her meeting with a donor, He probably wasn't going to give any money to the hospital after the stint she was expecting, but there was a small chance the paperwork would get signed in time.<p>

And then she heard the small beep of the tannoy.

Groaning inwardly, she forced a smile and tried to usher Mr Stronghold out of her office with a handshake and an eye making sure his signature was on the form, sealing the deal. That new MRI machine would be a god send.

Once he exited the hospital, she sighed with relief and laughed as she walked back to her office to await House's "surprise". Still amazed she'd managed to outsmart him; she waited as he embarrassed himself to embarrass her.


	6. Chapter 6

She knew that he'd realise she'd bugged his office. And planting the bug behind the speaker was one of the obvious places to put it, but not the most obvious. She needed to be convincing, and she couldn't be doing this idiotically. No, she had absolutely no idea what was going on.

He tried to think of all the times she could have ever heard him sing. Properly, not just those little impromptu musical entrances he treated his team to. He hadn't ever sung in front of her on purpose, he hadn't even ever played for her. But still, here was a post it, placed on the top of his speaker, with a crudely drawn microphone and a winking face. He "improved" the microphone in his childish science diagram way as he thought.

And that's when he realised what she was doing. She'd made him dumb, and by god he loved her for that. It would fade soon, he could adjust, he'd be brilliant and then happy before you could say "Really?"

Flicking on the connection to the hospital tannoy, he plugged his speaker in, and then his guitar.

He wasn't going to tell her that he'd caught on to her outsmarting him, which would ruin his reputation. He wasn't going to say anything. Nothing at all.

One screeching chord blasted out, and House nodded his head in satisfaction, before unplugging everything and limping away as fast as he could.

Cuddy would be sure to kill him for almost deafening the hospital, and not embarrassing himself in the slightest.

"Oh, doctor House. It is on." She whispered to herself, giggling at how evil maniac in a bad spy movie she sounded, before collecting herself and preparing to stride out her office in a dramatic and official way, one that House had made her use many, many times over the course of knowing him.

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><p>"I think we need reinforcements."<p>

"Who, what?" Chase asked, waking up from his little doze, face down on Wilson's desk.

"Cuddy. She knows House almost as well as I do."

"You want to get the woman that House was supposedly in love with up until what, last week, to help us figure out who he is in love with now?"

"It can't hurt. It's not like she loved him back. And I'm sure she'd love a little bit of revenge on him."

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><p>"I've decided that Thursdays are wet t-shirt days. Didn't you get my memo?" House's innocent expression as he lowered his water gun after soaking her right outside her office was almost enough to make her burst out laughing. Instead, she shook a few water droplets out of her hair and pulled her phone out of her pocket. Tapping away at it, House frowned at her evil smirk and tried to peer at the small screen, but she stretched out one finger and held it up to his lips to make him quiet.<p>

Putting the device back in her pocket, she grinned at him.

"Care to admire my handiwork?"

Storming ahead of her, he headed to the elevator and pushed the button for his floor, waiting for her to catch up with a scowl on his face that disguised the look of amusement behind it.

"Remind me to never seriously piss you off. It's not worth everyone knowing how I looked at four years old." House drawled sarcastically "This better not be the entirety of your revenge, sending my baby pictures around is so kindergarten."

"House, in kindergarten, you were the same age as you are in those pictures, right?"

"Yes, but they were the ones from before my makeover." He said with a camp voice, flouncing off. He poked his tongue out as he walked away from her.

He hoped her revenge was better than this.

She knew her revenge was much, much better.

"Hi, mom."

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><p><strong>I have flu. Go easy on me.<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

House stormed in the clinic. He wasn't particularly angry about anything, he just felt storming in was a better entrance than calmly walking in.

Stealing a file straight out of one of the nurse's hands, he strolled in to one of the exam rooms.

He figured acting differently to normal would attract Cuddy's attention as the curious boss woman in her would have to know what he was getting up to. He wanted lunch. And by lunch, he meant sex. He'd passed a suitable storage cupboard on the way over.

"So... What are your symptoms?" He asked the woman he found in the room, yawning loudly as he spoke.

"Guess. Or check my file." She replied, annoyed at how unprofessional he was.

"Ooh, I think I'll guess!" He grinned childishly and sat up, glancing at the woman.

"You feel tired a lot, and your hands hurt."

"Well really, Doctor House, if I wasn't tired a lot and my hands didn't hurt occasionally then I'd think I'd be aging wrong. You're not really living up to your reputation here."

"Exactly. You don't feel sick at all. You're here for another reason. And I bet if I opened your folder I could find out why. But you know, apparently cheating is bad." He pouted as he finished.

"Well done, Gregory. You've now proved yourself to be more intelligent than a monkey."

House looked up, alarmed.

"She get the talent for revenge from you?"

"Apparently so. You realise this is the part where you're meant to try and make me not hate you?"

"No time for that, I have to go and potentially impregnate your daughter." He shrugged mock innocently and exited the room faster than it should have been possible.

"She's not going to be happy you said that!" Arlene Cuddy yelled after her fleeting doctor, but it was no use.

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><p>"You're good." House came strolling in to Cuddy's office and rested his palms on the edge of her desk.<p>

"You're not terrible yourself." She retorted.

"Hey, I'm a stud, but for once I was not talking about that." Cuddy raised an eyebrow.

"I just bumped in to your mother in the clinic. Told her I was gonna knock you up. You're welcome."

"HOUSE!"

He'd already limped off. Cuddy slumped down in her chair and rested her forehead on her desk. He'd won this round. But she had plans. Dinner plans.

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><p>House sat at the table, surprisingly quiet. He was careful not to look up in to the scathing eyes or Arlene Cuddy, so he just half smiled at his plate and listened in to the conversation between the two Cuddy women. He wished he hadn't.<p>

"So, what Greg said earlier got me thinking; are you two thinking about marriage and kids yet? You know you're going to want to get a move on, it's not good to have too big a gap between children, biological or not apparently. And you're not getting any younger, sweetheart."

Cuddy carefully swallowed her mouthful and put her fork down. Exhaling, she opened her mouth to speak, but found herself beaten to it.

"No to marriage, but I'm gonna convince her to make a little Greg, I promise." He put his heart over his heart sarcastically and sniffed.

"Yeah, I think it's probably best you two don't have kids..." House pouted. Cuddy kicked him under the table. Arlene sipped her wine. It was all very civilised.

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><p>"I can't believe you drugged my mother." Cuddy said from the drivers seat of her car.<p>

"I can't believe you won't do the dirty at the hospital." House replied from the passengers side.

"So you drugged her just to get your wicked way with me?"

"Mostly. Also because I had the urge to be in a really bad spy movie."

Cuddy took her eyes off the road for a second. "This is a really weird time to say it, but I love you."

"Weird is good. And I love you more; just don't tell Wilson I said that."

"I won't. Now shut up and kiss me before I have to go in and pretend you're not my boyfriend." She pulled the car into her reserved space and he leant in to attack her mouth.

"You're dropping me in, it's quite obvious. I can't believe they still haven't figured it out. We're both incredibly sexy, and we've been back two whole days."

"Chase and Wilson roped me in to helping figure out who you're dating." Cuddy admitted with a laugh.

"Wilson is an idiot. An even bigger one than normal. Bet he's just pretending not to know so he can spend time with the wombat." House shuddered.

"That is the weirdest, most adorable couple I could ever think of."

"Dammit, they stole our title?" House asked, mock outraged, before asking for her to cheer him up.

"No, you pervert, keep it in your pants for a couple hours."

"Meet me for lunch? And I mean actual lunch, at a place where they serve food."

"Sure." Cuddy smiled at him and pecked the side of his lips. "Now get out of my car."

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><p><strong>I made a longer one because there's been a few days since the last chapter, sorry. Here ya go, hope you like it.<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

"Good morning, children!" House yelled as he stepped through the hospital entrance with Cuddy and spotted Taub and Foreman at the Nurse's station. Taub gave a forced half smile before quickly walking off to avoid House's good mood.

"We have a case." Foreman said bluntly "And you're early."

"Bye babe, I've got to go and save lives now!" House yelled in Cuddy's direction but she quickened her pace and ignored him.

House pouted and Foreman rolled his eyes and began to walk as he explained "36 year old male, seizures and nose bleeds that won't stop."

"Boring. Brain tumour. Go check his... oh, what's it called? You know, that think at the top of your body, with your face on? Go have a good ol' rifle through that and then bring me back an interesting case."

"House."

House looked behind Foreman to find the source of the voice.

"Well hello, Taub. I must say, you're looking rather feminine today. And what will Cuddy say when she finds out you're wearing her skirt?"

Foreman had to stifle a mental giggle, but didn't let his poker face shift.

"House, you will take that case. He's a very beneficial donor to the hospital, and he specifically requested you." Cuddy's voice suggested that it wasn't so much a request, and more of a demand.

"Nuh-uh. There's no puzzle, I don't get anything out of this except from a tiny stroke of my ego."

"I'll halve your clinic hours." Cuddy pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.

"No." Cuddy opened her mouth, her lips forming an "o" in shock. Normally docking a few of his hours was enough to make him behave a tiny bit better.

"What? Come on, what more do you want?"

House replied with a lecherous grin as he leant over his desk.

"I'm going to go and run some tests." Foreman said evasively as he all but ran out of House's office.

"You. And lunch. Lunch with you would be awesome too."

"It's nine thirty in the morning, we just got in, you already want lunch?"

"Stop raining on my parade. It's lunch time in some country. Let's pretend!" he childishly clapped his hands with his last statement. Cuddy sat down in his chair.

"Yay, you stopping here for a little while then, Cuddles?"

"Why not. I should spend some time with my favourite employee." She deadpanned.

"That works for me. Now, can you lock the door, I don't want the real Taub catching us doing the nasty, and I don't want to have to explain to Chase that daddy still loves him just as much now daddy's got a girlfriend."

Smiling slightly at the thought that she was House's girlfriend, she stood up before realising. "House! I will not have sex with you at the hospital!"

"So you'll have sex with me once we go to lunch?" He asked hopefully.

"No. Just wait until you come over to mine tonight."

"Ew, I'm not coming over tonight, the older she devil is still there."

Cuddy playfully slapped his arm. "Don't talk about my mother like that."

"I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you?" He almost pleaded, and Cuddy had to laugh at the look of desperation on his face.

"I'll meet you for lunch at one, and how about we stay over yours tonight?"

House grinned and nodded as confirmation. Cuddy checked that no one could see them before she walked round and gave him a kiss.

"See you later, stud." She whispered onto his lips and took her hand off his cheek.

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her back gently as she tried to talk away.

"Love you."

Cuddy smiled. "Love you too, House."

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><p>"If we walk in together twice in one day, people will talk."<p>

"People are already talking, House. I just love how Chase and Wilson think it's too ridiculous to be true."

"They are so getting it on, I swear. But seriously, you should be freaking out that people might find out that I've pulled you over to the dark side."

"I don't know why I'm not. Maybe the belly full of gorgeous Italian food is clouding my judgement. Or maybe 20 years of foreplay means I want to show a little affection to my boyfriend when I see him at work. Besides, you should be the one freaking out, people will realise that you actually can love and you're not the soulless devil you've tried to convince everyone you are."

House mock pouted, before bactracking. "So, what does 'a little affection' cover? Because I have serious things in mind for your desk-"

"It covers us holding hands, little kisses in public, and maybe, if you are good, making out in my office with the door locked and blinds shut. But no sex."

House shrugged "I suppose I can deal with that."

Cuddy pulled her car into House's space. He raised an eyebrow.

"It's nearer." She protested.

"Whatever. You just want to show me off."

"N-"

"Me thinketh you protest too much." He leant over and pulled her into a kiss.

"Come on. I've kept you from your baby too long, you need to go back and administrate."

For once, it was Cuddy with the childish pout, and House laughed at the role reversal.

Cuddy pulled him in to another kiss, both hands on his cheeks. She lowered one to his shoulders, then trailed it down his spine and brought it forward to his belt buckle.

"Well, I suppose we can stay out a little longer." He breathed.

She grinned and effortlessly pulled off his belt. Throwing it to the back seat, she reached up to unbutton his shirt. He pulled her over to his seat and placed her down on his lap, only breaking the kiss for a second. He pulled her shirt up over her head and smiled into her now bare shoulder.

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><p>Chase finished his coffee and then decided to go and ask for approval on the test House had asked for just before leaving. She went down down Cuddy's office, only to find it empty.<p>

"Dr Chase? She's gone for lunch. She should be back by now, so I imagine she'll be here any second now."

Chase nodded in reply and uttered a thanks. Deciding to go and get himself some lunch instead of waiting, he went and walked out to his car. house probably wouldn't be back for a while, so Chase figured he could get himself some point, be back in time to ask Cuddy for approval on the test and House would never know the difference.

What he forgot to think about was that House's parking spot was next to his. He should have thought, as Foreman had been complaining just yesterday that Chase had a better space than him. he should have remembered, because then when he'd seen Cuddy's car in House's space he'd have been a little more cautious.

At least now, he figured, he finally knew who House was dating. He just wished it wasn't displayed in such a crude way.

Backing slowly away, he then almost sprinted in to the hospital, and then definitely did run up the stairs to Wilson's office where he flung open the door. Thankfully, Wilson didn't have a patient at that moment, as Chase just blurted it out.

"House is sleeping with Cuddy!"

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><p><strong>Hi. Sorry for my absence. I've been off school and so procrastinating has taken priority. I've been reading instead of writing. I made it extra long in the hope that you'll forgive me.<strong>

**I've changed my pen name thing by the way. MoosesHateMe was annoying me, it just seemed wrong. I'm now DespisedByThePluralOfMoose. It's a lot more eloquent and shit, whatever.**

**Review and I'll give you either doughnuts made of pixels or a faster update.**


	9. Chapter 9

Wilson stood up sharply and moved round to Chase. He gently cupped his chin and shone a little light in his eyes.

"You're not high" he murmured, before resting the back of his hand on Chase's forehead "and you're not running a fever either."

"Seriously, House and Cuddy are sleeping together! I...saw them." He visibly shuddered at the memory.

"I don't believe it. Are you sure? Was he not just harassing her again?"

"She had her shirt off."

"Oh."

A silence fell over the two of them before Wilson spoke up.

"I suppose we should go and congratulate them?" he suggested. Chase raised an eyebrow.

"If it's not in a publicly embarrassing way, I don't wanna know." His accent seemed even stronger and he grinned.

Wilson seemed to stop and think for a second.

"Come with me then." Wilson grabbed his coat and left his office. Chase followed him out the room.

"What's the plan then?"

Wilson tapped the side of his nose.

"Seriously? No fair!" Chase blocked his way into the elevator. "Tell me or you're not getting in."

Wilson tried to duck up under his arm, and then sighed dramatically like he was going to give in. Opening his mouth, he sprinted off for the stairs. Chase clenched his jaw in frustration, and pushed the down button to meet Wilson there.

* * *

><p>"That was..."<p>

"Extremely hot and dirty and perfect in every way?"

"Pretty much, yeah." Cuddy rested her forehead against House's shoulder. He kissed her hair.

"We should probably go back in. This must be the longest you've ever been away from the hospital; they'll think you've been kidnapped." He grabbed her wrists for dramatic effect and pecked her lips when she raised her head to scowl at him.

"Fine. You wanna head in after about five minutes?"

"I think we can walk in together. They can speculate for a bit. It's not like anyone has any proof of us just yet."

"True. Come on then." She reached back and handed him his belt from where she'd thrown it back. He nodded his thanks and pulled it through the loops. She did up the remaining buttons on her shirt and used the back of her hand to stifle a yawn.

"Did I wear ya out?" House asked with a wink. She raised an eyebrow and then nodded after a hesitant pause. He grinned and then opened his door, stepping out and limping round the front to open hers for her. She blushed at the gesture, and he bowed and put on a posh accent before allowing her to pass with a "Your majesty". He kissed her hand and held it as they walked to the front, dropping it just as they walked in the door.

"OH MY GOD GUYS DID HE DO IT? DID HE ASK YOU? OH MY GOD, CAN I BE BEST MAN? THE HONEYMOON WILL BE SPECTACULAR!" Wilson yelled out across the clinic in a camp voice with such large hand gestures that the small crowd around them didn't know whether to look at the yelling doctor or the ones he was yelling at.

"Bastard." Cuddy and House both muttered under their breath, both with their cheeks tinged slightly pink with embarrassment.

"How does he know?" Cuddy asked House, who for once didn't seem to know the answer.

* * *

><p><strong>This is pretty AU, sorry.<strong>

**See you in a couple of days.**


	10. Chapter 10

"I'm going to kill you."

"I figured as much."

"Any last words, before I stick my cane so far up your ass that the flames on the tip come out of your mouth?"

"Lovely. And no, not really. I think a patronising 'Awww' will suffice."

"Shut up. There are probably still people who don't know about your bed wetting fiasco."

Wilson glanced round them, at what seemed to be the entire hospital who'd gathered to see the latest gossip.

"I think everyone knows how you stuck my hand in warm water."

House grinned "My maturity brings the babes."

"Exactly."

Cuddy was slowly making her way to her office, sneaking away from the drama in sideways strides, when all the attention focused on her. She hung her head and stopped where she was.

"Don't bring my husband into this. You're still in love with me, admit it!" House cried dramatically.

Wilson held his hands up in defeat.

"You're right, I love you. I proposed to you not because I didn't want you getting Nora, but because I wanted you." He deadpanned.

"I knew it!" House fist pumped the air in victory, and walked off, his limp seemingly less prominent than normal.

"But seriously, can I be best man?" Wilson yelled after him.

His answer was a one fingered salute.

* * *

><p>Cuddy rested her head on her desk and sighed into the wood. Everything was out in the open, and that was good, yes. But now there really was no turning back. Not that she regretted getting with House, not at all, but... She didn't know why she could feel a big black cloud of dread hanging over her.<p>

Her door swung open, interrupting her thoughts, and for that she was thankful. What she wasn't thankful for was the fact that the intruder decided to sweep everything off her desk, sending all her carefully organised piles of paperwork crashing onto the carpet.

House grinned as she watched all her budget plans and performance views and other incredibly important but incredibly boring bits of paper swirled round her feet. Plucking the apple from his pocket, he lay on the desk and placed the apple in his mouth.

She just watched him.

After a few seconds, he sat up with a "Well?"

"My paperwork..."

"Damn it, woman, you need to live a little!" he threw his apple in the trash and grabbed her hand, helping her over the piles of paper that she desperately didn't want to tread on, but he didn't care, hence the footprint on one that he made sure she didn't notice.

"Where are we going?" She asked the second they stepped out her door.

"Lunch."

"We just went to lunch."

"Dinner."

"I'm not hungry."

He stopped and looked at her. "Wilson." He said finally, with a tone that made it sound like there was no room for argument, but that didn't faze her.

"No. You can go to Wilson, and I will pretend that you're doing something worthwhile while I clean my office."

"I think we need to go to Wilson." He said quietly, making her panic for a split second before asking why.

He was just about to answer when she turned and ran the three feet back to her office.

* * *

><p><strong>I was trying to think about where to take this, and when I came up with this idea, nothing else seemed as good. <strong>

**I've only planned this far, so I'm not sure when my next update will be. Maybe tomorrow, maybe the day after, maybe next week.**


	11. Chapter 11

House rubbed Cuddy's back in an effort to comfort her as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet. The position they were in was awkward, her huddled over the porcelain bowl and him wedged between her and the wall, halfway between sitting and standing to be easier on his leg.

"Cuddy?" They heard Wilson call from in her office, as the door to the bathroom was ajar. House popped his head round.

"What?" He asked impatiently.

"I just needed Cuddy to sign some stuff... If you're busy, I can-" Wilson misjudged the situation and tried to make his excuses.

"Stop. Wait there."

Wilson did as he was told.

"Here." He handed Cuddy her toothbrush and measured out some mouthwash. He washed her as the minty white foam cleaned her mouth, and as she gargled on the blue liquid. She puffed up her hair a little, and dabbed at the slightly smudged makeup under her eyes.

"Hello there, Wilson." She spoke, her appearance giving off an air of professionalism, like she wasn't puking her guts up minutes before.

He handed her a file, his face flushing red. It was that moment that she realised having paper all over her floor and him finding her and House in her bathroom may just have given him the wrong idea.

"We weren't-it's not-" she protested, her cheeks flaring up to match Wilson's in colour.

"Scout's honour." House said from the doorframe. "Actually, we were just going to see you."

"Really?" Wilson asked, wondering what was so important that it couldn't wait for House's regular 4pm crashing into Wilson's office time. Cuddy shot House a look, as she still didn't know why they had to go and see Wilson.

"Cuddy's pregnant. Do you wanna settle for godfather/uncle instead of best man?"

"I'm WHAT?" Cuddy screeched, unsure of whether or not House was telling the truth. He did have his "genuinely honest" face one, and that one only came out for very special occasions. And it would explain why she'd just thrown up, but she had eaten a huge lunch and she was really tired.

"Really?" Wilson asked, doubtfully raising an eyebrow.

"Indeed. My bakers have put a bun in that oven. I'm quite proud of them. It was considered an impossible feat, but hey, I am amazing."

"House!" Cuddy scolded, but then her voice softened. "Really?"

He nodded "Affirmative, mistress. You might want to get a test though, apparently those people know what they're on about." He waved a hand dismissively. She gripped him round the waist, enveloping him in a huge hug. He kissed her hair. Wilson stepped out, wanting to leave them alone in this moment.

"Wilson! Group hug!" House protested. Cuddy laughed through her tears of happiness, then reached an arm out to pull Wilson in.

"Keep it just between us three though, please?" Cuddy pleaded, not wanting to tell everyone in case there were complications. She didn't want to raise her already elevated hopes even further.

Wilson agreed it was for the best, so swore himself to secrecy.

House had his fingers crossed behind his back.

* * *

><p><strong>Wahey, you had to wait less than 24 hours for the next chapter. I'm so good to you.<strong>

**I kid, I love you all for reading this, and I'll see you with the next update in a few days.**

**For the record, I will update sooner if you all manage to convince the author to update this: .net/s/5825235/1/ It's honestly my favourite on here, and I've been hanging, waiting for an update for two months. Read** **it. Please.**


	12. Chapter 12

"I knocked up the boss!" House sing-songed as he walked through the hospital entrance, two hours later than he was expected. Cuddy had already been there for a few hours, feeling the need to get all the work she'd miss on maternity leave done now, despite the majority of it not yet existing, and Wilson already promising to help out when the time came.

"House!" Cuddy screamed from her office door, having just heard what he'd said as she stepped out.

He spun around not all that gracefully and greeted her with a sappy smile, before it was crushed with the absolute look of fury that graced her features.

He gulped dramatically and stage whispered "She's gonna eat me!" to the waiting room of clinic patients, then limped after her back into her office.

"You bastard." She greeted him, snarling, as he stepped across the threshold, her fists clenched.

"Nice to see you too."He snarked, faking being wounded by her words.

She ground her teeth, before practically hissing out "You gonna apologise?"

"For being excited about the birth of my child?"

"For announcing the conception of our child to the entire hospital, when all manner of things could go wrong in the mean time!" She was so flustered she was reaching hysterics, and he reached forward to capture her in a hug. Stroking her hair, he whispered calming nonsense as her breathing returned to normal and the tears stopped.

"It's all going to be fine, I promise."

She looked up at him at that, he never promised anything.

"Honestly." He replied, in answer to the silent question her grey orbs were giving him. "And here's why: I got you a present. Well, multiple ones anyway." He handed her three wrapped objects, each tied with ribbons that she began to pull open before he stopped her hands.

"Not until I'm gone. Then you have an excuse to come and see me, to thank me for them. I'll send the ducklings home, and I'll be waiting for you upstairs."

He leaned in to kiss her, turning at the last second to nibble on her earlobe.

* * *

><p><strong>I started writing this, but it was set when Cuddy is five months pregnant. and although I felt you guys would love how fluffy it was, I figured I was skipping five months of good ways to take this. So here's a short little bit, to keep you going until tomorrow ( I hope) when I get round to writing a proper one.<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

"I can't believe House and Cuddy are having a kid." Foreman said into his coffee, flabbergasted with the news.

"I'm still convinced that he's just messing with us." Taub insisted, not wanting to think about his boss' future spawn.

"Could be, but why on Earth would Cuddy go along with it?" Chase mused, thinking out loud.

"Morning ducklings, now go away." House said, stepping into his office. "Chase, put my ball down. Him and his buddy are Cuddy's property only. And fawning over me is so Cameron, come on!"

Chase got out of House's chair, but none of the fellows left, instead they stood by his desk as if waiting for him to sent them to run blood tests on lab rats.

"Go!" House yelled. None of them moved, apart from to blink slowly at House.

"Fine! I got Cuddy pregnant sometime in the last three weeks, yes she's my girlfriend, no I won't marry her, no I'm not meant to have told anyone, yes I've told practically everyone, yes Wilson knows, he's ecstatic, no I won't be going easier on you guys because I'm full of the joys of being a daddy, and yes, you better scram, because Cuddy will be up here any minute to thank me and I promise there will be nudity involved, and I'm the only one who gets to see my baby mamma like that. GO!" He finished, out of breath from clarifying everything.

It took a moment for his words to sink in, before his ducklings turned around and left, exchanging money between them.

"What do you reckon she's thanking him for, being the good sperm donor she always wanted?" Foreman grumbled when he thought he was out of House's earshot.

He wasn't and the words hit home with a jolt.

Was that all he was? A carrier for a bundle of cells that she so desperately wanted? If she'd wanted the kids and the white picket fence so much, why didn't she stick with dependable ol' Lucas? The man child must not have hit puberty yet. She'd go running back to him once the kid was safely in the oven, screwing House over.

House threw something at the wall, he didn't see what it was, just heard it smash and the pieces fall to the floor. He didn't care that 99% of what he was thinking was probably just his paranoia kicking in. He grabbed his jacket from the hook he'd thrown it on as he'd walked in, and went down to get his bike. Kicking off, he drove off, not looking back.

* * *

><p>Cuddy had been staring at the three small packages House had brought her, letting her excitement build before ripping the paper off. The first was prenatal vitamins, with "Yummy" scrawled on the lid in House's familiar writing. She smiled at how sweet he was being, before reaching for the second object. It was about the size of a pack of cards, but about half the thickness. Opening it, she found it was a book of coupons. She decided to go through them after she'd looked at the final present.<p>

The final one was larger than the other two, maybe a bit smaller than a sheet on paper. She carefully undid the ribbon, then ribbon off the paper. Turning it over, she found that it was a photo frame. She pulled the post-it off it, reading its message of "House and Cuddles forever" before looking at the photo and gasping in surprise.

"I didn't even know this existed..." She said to herself.

Grinning, she stood up, eager to go and see him. She loved him so much, just hoping he knew even a fraction of how much.

At that moment, he did not.

All he knew was that his glass was very empty, in both a literal and a metaphorical sense.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh, House. Housey House House. House.<strong>

**They had to have a problem, okay?**

**I'll bandage them up soon, I promise.**


	14. Chapter 14

The first glass of bourbon always sucked. Once you got to the second glass, however, the amber liquid tasted amazing. The harsh taste is numbed by the previous measure. The sixth glass tastes like bitter water. The fourteenth tastes like vomit. The fifteenth was never worth tasting.

House's keys were taken away from him as he stood up after the twelfth.

* * *

><p>Cuddy had sat in House's office for near enough four hours before giving up on him. His team didn't know where he'd gone, and Wilson had worried with her in the third hour, once he'd returned from checking all of House's usual haunts.<p>

"Maybe he's just freaking out about the kid? If so, he'll be back once he realises how stupid he's being." Wilson offered in an attempt to stop the tears falling down Cuddy's panic stricken face.

"I guess you could be right. But that doesn't explain why he smashed his phone." She replied, holding the crushed cell phone in her hand, hating the way the small object could stop her from contacting him.

Wilson left her with a comforting pat on the shoulder and a promise that she wouldn't stay much longer.

She left House's office after nearly four hours of sitting in his chair, wondering what stupid situations he could have gotten himself into.

Scribbling down something on a post-it, which she stuck to the screen of his computer, she wiped the last of the tears out her eyes and went home, realising it was just a few minutes to nine.

At no later than one minute past, House staggered in.

* * *

><p><strong>It's been 34 days. I'm so sorry.<strong>

**I'm going to blame it on the mounds of art coursework I had due in. I can't draw for shit, so everything took so much longer.**

**And right now, I should be revising for my mock exams, because I know fuck all and will fail in life because the only subjects I may actually pass are the ones that bear no relevance to anything I will ever need.**

**I'm failing English. Seriously.**

**Anyway, I know this is unfairly short, but I can't really think, and I doubt there are any of you still around.**

**Are you there?**


	15. Chapter 15

"House, please call me when you get this. Love you." House read the note, mumbling it to himself as he screwed it up and threw it across the room.

Sitting down at his desk, he looked at his broken phone, before picking up the hospital phone and trying to overpower the alcohol and remember Cuddy's number.

Try as he might, even Wilson's number was a mystery to him, despite the many years of phoning him in similar situations.

The floor seemed like a very comfortable place to sleep, and House was just about to doze off when the phone rang.

* * *

><p>Cuddy couldn't sleep.<p>

Not that she had attempted to, it was barely nine thirty, but she knew she wouldn't be able to if she tried.

Pacing the floor carefully so as to not wake Rachel, she pondered where the hell House could be. He could be doing anything. Or nothing. What if he had died, down a dark alley somewhere, unable to defend himself against demons or thugs because the alcohol had rendered his leg useless?

Trying to calm herself down by repeating that she was just being paranoid, she decided to call House's office, just on the off chance he'd returned there.

"Hello?" the gruff voice answered, and tears of relief escaped her eyes. She hung up, unable to say anything to him without screaming, and called Wilson to get him to look after Rachel for a little while.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry." House said to the figure in the doorway, not needing to look up to recognise who it was. He'd known those footsteps for twenty years, he'd heard those feet in heels, in slippers, even barefoot as she walked around his apartment.<p>

"For running away? For doubting me, or whatever your deal is? For making it impossible to contact you? For not letting anyone know where the hell you might be? Just what are you sorry for, House?" Her voice rose in volume and pitch with every sentence, to the point where the last word was shrieked before she started to cry.

"Why do you care?" House asked, his voice almost a whisper as he looked up at her, defeated.

She stopped and stared at him. So broken, so open. Just a shell.

Kneeling down on the floor next to him, she pulled him into a hug.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." She murmured into his shoulder.

Quickly become more alert, he corrected her.

"I'm the one who should be sorry. Shhh. I'm sorry."

They both stayed in a comfortable silence, neither yet realising that Gregory House had actually apologised.

Wilson looked after Rachel all night.

* * *

><p><strong>This isn't much longer, I'm sorry.<strong>

**I wrote this out, but a version where she dumped him and I cried and deleted it.**

**It was probably the better version, but my Huddy heart couldn't take it, despite knowing that I would get them back together.**

**It's 11pm, I'm sick and emotional and I'm sorry for the poor quality of this chapter.**

**And my favourite fic, "Like Father, Like Son" has still not been updated.**

**Woe is me.**

**Anyway, happy holidays.**

**Molly, stop being American.**

**Merry Christmas, muddafuckas.**

**PS- I love you all so much for the reviews on the last chapter. And anyone who has ever reviewed this, I love you too.**


	16. Chapter 16

Chase had walked in the next morning and accidentally awoken House and Cuddy by cursing when he spilled his coffee down himself at the surprise sight of them. Once awake, Cuddy had packed House off home, and while he tried to convince her to join him, she insisted she had too much work to do and would instead join him for dinner that night.

Instead of going home, House decided to head round Cuddy's to watch cartoons with the sprog. Although, if Cuddy asked, it was because his fridge was empty.

* * *

><p>"Have you got a spare shirt I could borrow?"<p>

"Yes, Chase's head." Wilson replied, laughing slightly as Chase stepped round the door and came fully into the room.

"How exactly did you spill coffee in such a brilliant shape?" Wilson asked, gesturing to the almost perfect heart overtaking Chase's shirt.

"House and Cuddy must be infectious." Chase shuddered, and Wilson choked with laughter.

"I never thought I'd see the day when House was infectious with something other than sarcasm or STDs." It was Chase's turn to splutter out, before recovering himself and accepting the paper towels Wilson was offering him with one last giggle.

"Did you just...giggle?" Wilson asked.

Chase blushed bright red "No, no of course not." He deepened his voice, and Wilson found it so hilarious that he almost toppled over with laughter.

"Woah, steady there!" The Aussie said, catching him on his descent to the floor. Wilson stood himself back up, one hand on Chase's chest to support himself.

"Oops, walking in on an intimate moment, don't let me disturb you!" Cuddy said, walking in and then walking straight back out again.

"It's like having two of them." Wilson sighed.

* * *

><p><strong>I have a plan. It might go ahead next chapter, or maybe the one after.<strong>

**You guys will love it.**

**I have another plan. I'm not sure if you guys will love that one. It involves getting Chase and Wilson together. I just find them cute. IDK.**

**And thank you guys so much for all the reviews! Your words mean so much to me, even if it's just a line or two. Thank you so much.**

**See you tomorrow, and if not, have a splendid Christmas period.**


	17. Chapter 17

Cuddy awoke with a smile on her face.

She opened one eye to check, as she had every morning, that House was lying next to her. And he was, an annoyed look on his face as he murmured something unintelligible in his sleep.

She glanced at the clock, deciding that for once in her life, she could be late.

"Houuuuuse, come play again!" Rachel yelled, bounding into Cuddy's bedroom and disturbing the lie in. House pulled the duvet over his head, Cuddy thanking God that she'd put a t-shirt on before falling asleep.

"I'm sorry; House isn't in at the moment, if you'd like to leave a message after the tone... BEEP!" House said in an effeminate voice from inside his little cave. Rachel giggled, and began to talk, seemingly to leave House a message to get back to.

House pulled the duvet off his head with a roar, and reached to tickle Rachel until she was squealing.

Cuddy lay back and wondered where it had all gone so right.

Rachel gave up, defeated, and left the room with a promise that House would play with her later.

"Owwww." Was all House said as he lay back down on the bed "Parenting hurts." He rubbed his thigh for effect, but in reality it wasn't hurting all that much. There was the painful twinge, but not the dull throbbing he normally experienced.

"Just be thankful you don't have to give birth." Cuddy replied, laughing and smacking his chest.

"Are we gonna find out the sex?" House asked her, sitting up straight.

"I guess so. We have a week to decide though."

And so they had. House couldn't believe how quickly the weeks had progressed, but Cuddy was now in her nineteenth week.

"I want to. We need to decide on which shade of green to paint the bedroom. Which brings me to this: where the hell are we actually going to put the baby?"

Cuddy looked around her, seemingly just noticing that her three bedroom house would not fit the baby: the spare room was downstairs, and Rachel would never give up her room to live down there, as she had claimed it was haunted. And it just wouldn't work having the baby on a completely different level.

House watched her think. "I'll figure something out." He said, kissing her forehead, and getting up to play with Rachel before "The Boss" insisted he went to work.

* * *

><p><strong>So I've skipped a bit of time here, but I doubt huge amounts happened. Wait, I've made this up. Nothing happened. The baby got bigger, I guess.<strong>

**I've decided not to put Wilson and Chase together, as I have a better plan. Mwahaha.**

**And the original, best plan I was on about will probably take place next chapter.**


	18. Chapter 18

House bounded into the hospital an hour or so after Cuddy did. It was the day after they had decided to move somewhere bigger, and House hadn't come home the night before, but Cuddy chose not to worry. She was trying to remain as calm and Zen like as possible, for the baby's sake, if not her own.

So when House staggered into the building clean shaven and actually smelling of something other than bourbon for once, Cuddy tried to remain calm and not decide he was up to something.

But he was up to something.

* * *

><p>Wilson stood on the balcony, taking a minute to drink his coffee and people watch. Watching House appear with a devilish grin directed towards Cuddy, who seemed to be mentally counting, Wilson leaned forward a little, eager to discover House's latest plot.<p>

Chase appeared next to Wilson.

"I feel like something's about to happen. Like, impending doom or something. Do you know what's going on?" Wilson just nodded his head in the direction of House as a reply.

The double doors at the front opened, but that was a regular occurrence so no one really gave it much attention.

And then House collapsed, one hand flying to his side.

* * *

><p>Cuddy immediately bounded over, Wilson and Chase following.<p>

"Was that a gunshot?" One of the nearby staff asked in confusion, moving aside to let Cuddy, Wilson and Chase get to House.

"Gotcha." House said, opening one of his eyes which had before been screwed up in pain.

He stood up, and Cuddy punched him in the chest.

"You bastard."

"What the hell just happened?" Chase asked.

"I have a present for you." House announced to Cuddy.

"You, on a slab?" she retorted.

He handed her a box as reply. A small, familiar, velvet box.

"House, no…" Cuddy said, shaking her head.

"Open it!" House said, bringing back the devilish grin.

"Seriously, open it!" a voice from the back said, chiming in. Everyone looked up.

"Oh, sorry." The stranger said, pulling off the balaclava that covered her face.

"House brought me her to help out with his plan." She offered as explanation to why she was there, shrugging.

"So he was all "Oh hey Thirteen, come pretend to shoot me as part of me telling Cuddy I bought us a house" and you just went with it?" Wilson asked, dumbfounded. Not that he wasn't happy to see Thirteen, they all were, but Jesus, how often did House want to scare them about him dying?

* * *

><p><strong>Uh, I'm not so sure about this chapter. I had an idea, but it wouldn't come out the way I wanted it to, and I didn't know how to weave Thirteen into it.<strong>

**So here, basically, House gets Thirteen to pretend to shoot him. He doubles over with the force from the supposed wound. Cuddy and everyone run over, and as he's on one knee in a lot of pain from the "bullet", he whips out a box you'd expect to find a wedding ring in.**

**It has a key to their new house in, woo.**

**My reasons for not updating this sooner are 1) the Christmas/New year period took all my time 2) mock exams took over my life, and I've just finished my last one and failed it completely 3) I bought a new laptop, and I've been fiddling around with it as procrastination and 4) I've become a Sherlock fan, so when I would be thinking up things to do with this, I've replaced them with stuff regarding my Sherlock fic "John Watson, John Watson". Please check that out if it appeals to you.**

**Updates may be a little slow from this point, I'm returning to school tomorrow, and my dad is moving next month so I won't be able to update while I'm there for a while.**


	19. Chapter 19

House and Cuddy stood in front of the mirror. She stood in her now too-tight work clothes, making a mental note to go shopping now she was really starting to show. He stood shirtless behind her, having just rolled out of bed, but eager and alert enough to reach around and feel the kicks pounding from her belly.

"How can you make pregnancy look so good?" He growled, incredulous.

"I'm too big. This isn't normal size. I'm five months along, not five years!" She whined, tears coming to her eyes as she glared at her protruding stomach.

He pulled her back onto the bed with him, nibbling her ear as he tried to stop her crying.

"You're perfectly normal size. You look ravishing, I must say. And I'm not just trying to get in your maternity pants." He kissed her cheek.

"Now, you sit here and eat or something, we're taking a sick day once I've got Rachel ready. No ifs, no buts. Make some popcorn, please?" House used his puppy dog eyes.

"Of course, your ulterior motive is popcorn! But no, I can't take any days off; I'm leaving soon enough anyway." Cuddy called through to Rachel's room, where House now was.

"Not soon enough in my book." He called back.

"Shush. You'll regret saying that soon enough; Wilson and Foreman don't look nearly as good in these skirts." He reappeared, pausing as if to consider that statement, and shuddered.

"Marry me?" He asked, flopping down on the couch. She was throwing her keys and phone into her purse.

"Yeah, 'cause that's gonna stop me going to work. Be serious House." She retorted.

"I am serious! Marry me!"

"Totally. Bye now, mommy's got to go to work." He pouted, gently pulling her down a bit to give her another kiss.

House limped into the hospital three hours later, having handed Rachel over to the sitter and then getting distracted by the TV, and then lunch…

Spotting Cuddy over near the elevator, House called over his team. Loudly.

"So gang, I have a new case for you. Patient presents with a Godzilla-like appearance and a refusal to marry me. What do we think?"

"Um, pregnancy, with just a dash of sanity?" Chase suggested.

"House! You're late!" Cuddy said, striding over.

"Sorry honey-bun, I was worn out from last night." He licked his lips and winked at her. She sighed.

"I don't even wanna think about what you're going to be like when I'm not here. Foreman is going to start complaining of sexual harassment daily."

"You know you're the only one for me. You'd squash me if I cheated on you with anyone that wasn't Wilson."

"You've got that right. Now, go do your medical magic that you're so proud of."

"Is my medical magic enough to make you say yes?"

"House, can we not talk about this in the middle of my hospital please?"

"You ruin my fun. You'll want this genius in sickness and in health soon enough." And with that, he limped off.

"He's really gone insane." Wilson said, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

"No… He's just happy." Cuddy replied, a grin forming on her lips.

House whistled in the elevator, smirking scarily at those in there with him.

Yeah, they were happy.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, so it's been a while.<strong>

**I'm going to say the five month absence was because there is a five month gap in the plot.**

**It was absolutely not because other fandoms killed me and I forgot about this kind of.**

**This is the end of this, but I'm probably gonna do an epilogue, with the baby and all that.**

**I have another fic set after the season eight finale, called This Is Our Last Dance, so you should check that out.**

**This totally counts as revision for my English language GCSE, right?**


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